It's not enough that one of my most common parenting phrases is "Are you the parent?" but I have to learn this concept for myself. Lately, I've been reminded of some parenting techniques God tends to use. Maybe now that I employ parenting techniques, it's easier to spot them in Him? (or maybe I just attribute everything to what is so consuming of my own mental resources!) I'm (yes, still) working on Priscilla Shirer's study on Jonah and it is dealing with when God doesn't exactly lie to us... He just doesn't always give us the whole story ahead of time. (there's much more too it, but I'm drawing a blank and don't have the book with me) Sometimes in my arrogance I wish for a little more info. I have often felt a bit betrayed by God when these things happen- when a little more information or a more direct sense of His leading could have steered me down a more effective or productive path, a path that may even have honored Him more... in MY view.
I am learning, however, that I don't give my boys the whole story.. sometimes out of laziness or selfish reasons, but sometimes because I need them to learn to trust me.. to know that I have their best interests in mind if they would stick with the program. Sometimes, I want them to wait for me to offer something they really want instead of begging redundantly for it. And ALL of the time, I don't want them trying to manipulate me to do their will. A lot of the time, I want the good thing to be a surprise! (which begging just spoils) And yet I am frustrated that my Father wants to give me good things in His time, in His way which... is never my way or my time line. I must learn to "wait for it" (Psyc quote, anyone?) with eagerness, not drudgery. I'm realizing (as my 5 year old teaches me daily) that I too live in drudgery instead of eager expectation for the good and perfect gifts my Father has in store, as well as trials and heartaches that He has purpose for as well... there's a Mary Beth Chapman quote I'd love to put here... will get it when I get home... but its about loving God being pure when we can worship Him equally through the good and bad that He brings. We know without a doubt we can trust Him.. it just gets a little stickier living like it in the day to day.
So as I was sitting in ER yesterday morning with a migraine on steroids that got away from me, (stinkin anti-nausea drug has quit working well enough anymore- I used to call that drug blessed) and I realize that I'd been feeling in better control of my migraine disease, err.. that it was better managed... here I am again in ER which has been an expensive and frustrating experience in the past (migraines don't go away for me there), I am reminded that God is allowing this (amongst other things) in my life for a purpose. I am reminded that I am proud that we've finally gotten things better under control. Well... not so much. God is in control, not me. Can I say that 300 times a day until it sinks in? Can they stick that, just that into a worship song that's so redundant I have to notice and take it in?
And, can I let go of my disappointment in my weakness to see His strength and trust that there is a purpose? Can I wait for Him to suprise me with something I never imagined but am eagerly waiting for Him to reveal. He is a God of good and perfect gifts. I can trust Him. I just need to "wait for it" eagerly.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
once again
Tonight, after a few various and sundry things, I realize it's time to recap our little Costa Rican missions trip before the memories get fuzzy. So many things in life are fuzzy. I'm weary of fuzzy. However, it's almost tomorrow.. again. Metaphorically, literally, metaphysically..but I must be more concise!
Here are some little tidbits summed up from my journal that strike me tonight....
-the hearts of the Christians we worked with for their coworkers' marriages and eternal destinies; marriage being a perfect door to seeing the need of heart change
- how much running around missionary work involves! these are some busy people!
-how God speaks through those who submit to Him completely, not trusting in themselves or their abilities, but trusting in God and His ability to work through them (being a bit on the shy side, I completely struggle here)
-how much people serving God rely on cell phones!!!
-Manuel Antonio! um. "need" to vacation there at some point. WOW.
-missions work is so very very relational. this is challenging for an introvert like me. What I would give to have something to say out loud even once in a while...!
-How helpless I aways feel next to the local Christians who are doing the work with God and really got it covered without me
-It's amazing how a college graduate can forget what a sword is. Never mind the fact that over 100 kids were playing with an equal number of balloon swords all around me at the time. it's so good that translators don't just translate. where was my armor?
-um. amazing skill at grilling and making yummy food and fixing... and yes, men are the grill masters in CR too. and women do the rest.
-um. the Pacific is really nice.(maybe not with a nearby lightening storm next time...)
-God bless modern medicine
-little me and the gang bummin around the rain-forest barefoot and con camera
-black Iguana, green iguana. totally missed the cappuccin monkey and the very fast "flashes" that looked like small wild cats..!! aaagghhh!
-amazingly adorable and sweet kids of the families we served with.
-sweet baby Christian being used while the King changes someone's eternal destiny!
-the subway at Jaco times 2.
-amazing hospitality and another defeat of the gringos... in soccer.
-fire ants!!!!
-coffee.
- such a greatful, loving, friendly (deep friendship) culture. I have so much to learn.
-green coconut juice. really. I need to move to the tropics. (really all the juices are superb! blackberry. ..prickly pear..all the tropical stuff... you name it)
-great hotel rooms. this country knows what tourists like.
-the great honor of serving other Christians.
-having much or having little. same Joy. or do those with little have greater joy?
-moving a missionary family... not quite what it would look like in the states...
-THE national soccer stadium.
-why am I so hesitant to ask for help? and never want to accept it when offered? really. it's ridiculous.
-speaking truth- good truth into our lives.
-Walmart and monopoly
+Ministry is all the time, everywhere.
+Always be ready and looking for the opportunities God will give if we but see them.
+Time to step up my game another notch or three
+the unity and purpose of the children's workers at the local church
+the comradery of the local team
+the beauty of the wives' inner strength
+the wonderfulness of their children
+Let people help you
+Don't worry about what you can't do, do what you can do and trust God all the time whether in or outside of "your" skill set or gift.
-Roman Catholic bascillica
That's it so far. Once again I'm facing the challenge of what to do with the experiences my Creator gives me. Once again, I'm hoping to see and follow.. not stagnate.
Here are some little tidbits summed up from my journal that strike me tonight....
-the hearts of the Christians we worked with for their coworkers' marriages and eternal destinies; marriage being a perfect door to seeing the need of heart change
- how much running around missionary work involves! these are some busy people!
-how God speaks through those who submit to Him completely, not trusting in themselves or their abilities, but trusting in God and His ability to work through them (being a bit on the shy side, I completely struggle here)
-how much people serving God rely on cell phones!!!
-Manuel Antonio! um. "need" to vacation there at some point. WOW.
-missions work is so very very relational. this is challenging for an introvert like me. What I would give to have something to say out loud even once in a while...!
-How helpless I aways feel next to the local Christians who are doing the work with God and really got it covered without me
-It's amazing how a college graduate can forget what a sword is. Never mind the fact that over 100 kids were playing with an equal number of balloon swords all around me at the time. it's so good that translators don't just translate. where was my armor?
-um. amazing skill at grilling and making yummy food and fixing... and yes, men are the grill masters in CR too. and women do the rest.
-um. the Pacific is really nice.(maybe not with a nearby lightening storm next time...)
-God bless modern medicine
-little me and the gang bummin around the rain-forest barefoot and con camera
-black Iguana, green iguana. totally missed the cappuccin monkey and the very fast "flashes" that looked like small wild cats..!! aaagghhh!
-amazingly adorable and sweet kids of the families we served with.
-sweet baby Christian being used while the King changes someone's eternal destiny!
-the subway at Jaco times 2.
-amazing hospitality and another defeat of the gringos... in soccer.
-fire ants!!!!
-coffee.
- such a greatful, loving, friendly (deep friendship) culture. I have so much to learn.
-green coconut juice. really. I need to move to the tropics. (really all the juices are superb! blackberry. ..prickly pear..all the tropical stuff... you name it)
-great hotel rooms. this country knows what tourists like.
-the great honor of serving other Christians.
-having much or having little. same Joy. or do those with little have greater joy?
-moving a missionary family... not quite what it would look like in the states...
-THE national soccer stadium.
-why am I so hesitant to ask for help? and never want to accept it when offered? really. it's ridiculous.
-speaking truth- good truth into our lives.
-Walmart and monopoly
+Ministry is all the time, everywhere.
+Always be ready and looking for the opportunities God will give if we but see them.
+Time to step up my game another notch or three
+the unity and purpose of the children's workers at the local church
+the comradery of the local team
+the beauty of the wives' inner strength
+the wonderfulness of their children
+Let people help you
+Don't worry about what you can't do, do what you can do and trust God all the time whether in or outside of "your" skill set or gift.
-Roman Catholic bascillica
That's it so far. Once again I'm facing the challenge of what to do with the experiences my Creator gives me. Once again, I'm hoping to see and follow.. not stagnate.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)